


The Silence You Feel You Could Cut with a Knife

by misura



Category: Emerald City (TV 2016)
Genre: F/M, Post-Canon, Reconciliation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-28
Updated: 2017-11-28
Packaged: 2019-02-10 03:09:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12902655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misura/pseuds/misura
Summary: "You're never responsible for anything, are you?" Lucas asks, voice bitter. "Everything is always someone else's fault, someone else's problem."





	The Silence You Feel You Could Cut with a Knife

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kereia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kereia/gifts).



> happy Yuletide! I had some god intentions of writing you a knifeplay treat, but then feelings got in the way, so this ended up a lot sappier and a lot less kinkier than hoped. oops?

Dorothy wakes to find Lucas - Roan - _Lucas_ (and damn him, anyway) standing over her.

"What?"

"Not a morning person, I take it?" Lucas grins, and Dorothy thinks she might have killed him for that alone, if he hadn't also looked and sounded just a tiny bit uncertain.

She realizes that ever since her return, they haven't really talked - or rather, they've talked, but not about _that_. "You tried to kill me. Excuse me for getting a bit of a scare to find you sneaking up on me in the middle of the night. It _is_ still night, isn't it?"

With two moons, the nights in Oz seem better illuminated than back home, even if there are fewer lights in the distance, and no lights from planes in the sky.

"Trust me, if I was trying to sneak up on you, you wouldn't have woken up at all," Lucas says.

"How very reassuring to know. I'll sleep so much better now."

Lucas bends his head. "You seemed cold. I got you an extra blanket. That's all."

"Oh." Dorothy isn't sure what kind of reaction is called for here. It feels childish, to say she doesn't want an extra blanket just because he scared her, a little. "I'm fine. What about you?"

"I'm keeping watch," Lucas says.

"For what?"

Lucas shrugs. "Anything that might be a threat to you."

"Have you looked in any mirrors recently?"

Lucas frowns. The blanket in his arms does look nice and warm. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I don't know. You tell me." Dorothy wants to reach for the blanket - and after that, for Lucas, maybe, stupid as that sounds. _A married man. Nothing but trouble._

"It's not like I wanted to hurt you. Ever," Lucas says. "I asked you - I _begged_ you to stop me."

"And stop you I did." Dorothy doesn't mention the part where she thought he was going to kill her, the part where he put a knife to her throat from behind, as if he'd be able to kill her just fine so long as he didn't have to look at her face.

She's seen him beat a woman to death for threatening her. She's seen him kill people in his memories, to defend a wagon full of young girls.

"You want to complain about it now?" Dorothy asks. "Or maybe you want another do-over?"

Lucas throws the blanket at her and pulls out his knife. Dorothy reaches for her backpack, her gun, before she remembers that it's not there anymore, that this is her second trip to Oz.

You'd think she'd have come better equipped this time. Packed some antibiotics, a gun, and maybe a kevlar vest, although she has no idea where she'd even be able to get one of short notice.

"Here." Lucas holds out the knife, hilt first.

"What - "

"You want me dead?" Lucas pulls open his shirt. "You don't trust me? You can kill me right here, right now. One simple thrust, and you'll be rid of me forever."

"Lucas." _You idiot,_ she thinks, not sure to who of them she's referring. Maybe they're both idiots.

"How about it, huh?" Lucas asks, grabbing her hand and positioning it. "My heart's right here. It'll be quick. Might want to put the blankets out of the way though, unless you want to spend tomorrow scrubbing out the blood stains."

Dorothy pulls her hand away. "I know where your heart is. I'm a nurse, remember? A healer."

Lucas breathes heavily. "I just - what do you want from me, Dorothy? What can I do to make things right between us? To make things as they were, before - before."

"Nothing," Dorothy says. "Those things - you trying to kill me. You turning out to be _married_? They happened. They're real."

"They're the _past_ ," Lucas says. "Me and Glinda - after you went home, I told her. I'd help her fight the Beast, the Wizard, whatever she needed me to fight, one last time, and then we'd be done. Over. So please. Don't tell me all that was for nothing."

"I'm not responsible for your assumptions." Dorothy wants to yell at him and hug him at the same time.

"You're never responsible for anything, are you?" Lucas asks, voice bitter. "Everything is always someone else's fault, someone else's problem."

"That's not true." She's helped Lucas, that first time. She's helped Sylvie. She'd _changed_ things, for better or for worse. "That's not fair, Lucas. You can't decide something by yourself and then blame me for it."

Lucas sighs. "I know." He stared at the dying campfire. "But ... I love you, Dorothy. I want to protect you, to keep you safe. And warm."

"Hey, good job on that last one," Dorothy says, patting the extra blanket.

Lucas sighs again.

"I mean, I guess I'm still a little cold, but - "

Lucas stares at her. Dorothy realizes she's still holding his knife. "That's the last blanket you've got there."

"Yours," Dorothy says. "I know. What I'm trying to get at is, well."

"Well, what?"

Dorothy wants to sigh. Or check her own sanity. Part of her thinks this is a very bad idea, and part of her thinks that trying things a second time is rarely an improvement over trying them the first time, and part of her only wants to curl up and sleep, and accept that everyone she gets attached to in her life will sooner or later leave, so she might as well not bother getting attached to begin with.

"Well, would you like to try and warm me up?"

Lucas swallows. "Are you serious?"

"Not - we can just cuddle," Dorothy says. _Or not._ "For warmth. Aren't you cold, too?"

Male pride wars with something else. "Cuddle," Lucas says. "You want to cuddle. Mere days ago, you stabbed me and left me for dead, and now you want to cuddle."

"You can say no. And besides, right back at you."

"I didn't stab you," Lucas says, all righteous indignation, before he deflates a bit. "Granted, I tried, but still. It's the result that counts. I - are you sure?"

Dorothy holds out the knife. "I'm sure. Are you?"

Lucas kisses her. It's a pretty good kiss, if not exactly cuddly. "Does that answer your question?"

"I'm not sure. Could you maybe repeat that?"

Lucas laughs, and it's not quite as it was before, but given time, a bit of effort and a lot of talking, Dorothy figures that maybe some day they'll get there.

Assuming they're going to survive the next few days, of course.


End file.
